Monday, April 09, 2012

As you see it

It was more than a few years ago that I heard about urbandictionary. Reacting to my advice that one should immediately look up in the dictionary for the meaning of any new word one comes across my much younger cousin retorted that she prefers to be updated by urban dictionary. You know, I am curious by nature, so had at that time checked the website. I found it wacky and funny but like all things with the youth totally revolved around single theme.  But even then I liked it for a while. Anyway that’s not a big deal because I don’t usually dislike anything.  People in general I guess are keen on improvising. They want to do more. Theres a space in urban dictionary where people write exactly what the big and great names mean to them. Its not wikipedia definition. You can check it out here. Its kinda funny.
I have culled out some of the definitions that kinda made me laugh.
William Shakespeare
a) A guy who wrote good plays that confuses the hell out of Americans
b) William Shakespeare was a brilliant playwright who's works are the cause of constant bitching from people either too stupid to understand them, or too lazy to bother to try. 
His most famous works being: Hamlet, Macbeth, and Othello. Which deal with (respectively): A depressed goth kid, Assassinating leaders, and interracial sex...if this isn't relevant to modern times I don't know what is.
Charles Dickens
a)EVIL! 
he also wrote Great Expectations, a book about retards in London. And Pip, the biggest jerk to walk the fictional planet.
Socrates
a) A wise guy who liked to talk and chill with his homey g's
Jane Austen
a) A female author from the late eighteenth/early nineteenth century known most for her novel Pride and Prejudice. Her novels usually cause groans from high schoolers and are very difficult to re-read because you get everything out of them the first time around. They also prove that she believed love conquered and withstood all.
Ayn Rand
a) n. A horrible writer and a joke of a human being. An unwilling political tool and perennial favorite of the marginally intelligent.
Lewis Carroll (‘My’ creator)
a)The world's first stoner.
There is no way Lewis Carroll could've written the Alice in Wonderland saga sober. I don't know what they had back in the 19th century that could get you high, but whatever it was, he was doing it!
And finally, though it doesn’t make much sense, its  
Roger Federer
a) God. If tennis skill was money, Bill Gates and Oprah would be charity cases compared to Roger. You know that feeling when your woman climaxes and is left whimpering in your arms? That's what it feels like to be Roger Federer.
You can also read funny definitions for Bill Clinton, Bush, India, Bangalore etc. And you can also check whether your name has been defined. I did for mine. I have never cared much for my name as such because it was given so that it just rhymed with my sister’s but I happily smiled at the definition given on the website. Me thinks it suits me!!.
While we are still at it I will try to write about few great names as I see them:-) 
Kalidasa
a) The playright who wrote a lot of soft porn..errr erotic literature which is praised to the skies in the modern era because its in samskrit and nobody gets it totally.
Banabhatta
a) Oldest/earliest sychophant in the history of mankind. Famous for works like Harshacharita and Kadambari reading which people forgot about food and eating. So now its used for dieting.
Chanakya
a) Brahmin teacher and kingmaker. Had long hair, swore revenge like Draupadi by untying his long, well-oiled hair.  If Nobel prize was there in BC he would have got it for both economics and political science. Credited with writing extraordinary treatises on political science and economics.
V S Naipaul
a) Modern version of Trisanku. Grudgingly wrote good things about India. Probably received Nobel for writing funny things with such a grumpy face.
U R Ananthamurthy
a) Jnanpith Awardee Brahmin Writer hated by Brahmins who carved a short cut  road to success by washing dirty linen in the public. 

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